cavemen vs astronauts

[amezri]

Yeah, yeah, this was started by Joss & co. and carried over to Angel, but it's an interesting discussion.

These are the ground rules I can make out from various board threads on the topic. No environment has been specified. They can't go into the fight with weapons, but I suppose they could get a bit creative with what's available in their surroundings.

Cavemen vs. astronauts -- who would win? Assume equal numbers of each group. Neither group has weapons nor time to prepare for the fight. Discuss.

[Poll #682266]

Link. Direct people here. Who would win?!

For my part, I don't know who I'd choose. Cavemen would win if they immediately attacked the astronauts, but astronauts might win if they sacrifice a couple team members so they can retreat and figure out a plan.

Comments

[shimmiwyld.livejournal.com]

Astronauts would have the higher intellect to use their environment in a better way. Cavemen would be able to handle most terrains a bit better and their combat skills would be awesome considering what they fight against to have food but in the end - the Astronauts. They have the higher ground (no pun! honest!) over the cavemen because they can look back on history.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

No. Astronauts are screwed. They're stuck inside those huge suits. You can't do jack shit in those things. When it comes to a hand-to-hand smack-down, Cavemen would win. Astronauts would win if they had weapons, but they don't usually carry weapons. This is a stupid argument.

[amezri.livejournal.com]

Hand-to-hand astronauts would probably lose. But then again, I'm told that a lot of astronauts are trained military and are exceptionally fit. On the other hand, if they've just spent an extended time in zero gravity, they've be all weak.

If the astronauts had a close combat weapon (club, knife, etc) I'm not sure they'd win. I'd still give cavemen the edge. If the astronauts are carrying a gun, well... goodbye cavemen.

This is a stupid argument.

Heh. It sure is.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Yeah. But astronauts don't usually carry big shooty things when their life depends on a sealed hull. LOL. It's not like they'd NEED a gun in space anyway. Sure, they might have a super-huge ship that they can just SQUISH the cave-men with...

Okay. Case in point. Planet of the Apes. That was astronauts vs. apes. You saw who won. *nods* LOL!

[amezri.livejournal.com]

uhm. Hm. Well, maybe the astronauts could lure the cavemen over to the big ship and then push it over and squish them all! :D

Yeah, okay, probably not.

As for Planet of the Apes... didn't the astronauts convince the native peoples (cavemen-like) to rise against the apes? I could be remembering wrong. It's likely. Anyway, the apes in that instance were more like modern people with science and language. Unleeeeessss you mean the Planet of the Apes remake wherein the apes were gorillas, which are much stronger than humans.

Erm. Regardless, I still think cavemen would win, so in the end I agree with you anyway XD

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Er - you're remembering totally the wrong Planet of the Apes. I'm talking about the original. The new one is donkey piss. LOL!

Oh, okay. TEAM CAVEMAN!! (Oh man, I gotta stop spending time at ONTD).

[amezri.livejournal.com]

Okay, yeah, I figured I was remembering wrong XD I haven't seen the original in AGES.

HAHAHAA! Yes, go team Caveman! XD

[assassin-chick.livejournal.com]

I actually think cavemen would have the advantage on utilising the environment. They live with their environment in a way that an astronaut can't compete with. Also, we have no evidence that their intellect is any less, and their survival instincts would be heightened. Ok, so they don't have the breadth of human experience behind them - but who has time to look back over history in a fight to the death? Faster reaction times and a more highly developed survival instinct might win out in the end!

[amezri.livejournal.com]

I do think that astronauts, given the time, would be able to win over the cavemen. But I also think that in the short term, the cavemen would probably track down the astronauts and kill them all. Erm. Assuming the cavemen have a desire to kill the astronauts and don't fear the scary looking spacesuits.

[tylergrrls.livejournal.com]

2 votes for Cavemen from Tylergrrls... that was DONNA who voted. But we agree. :D

We sum up:

Donna: Dude, I think cavemen'll take your face and bash it in on a fucking rock.
Donna: Astronauts could calculate how many newtons of force it took to do so, I guess.... ;-)
Bree: lol. The trajectory of the rock as it hurtled to smash their face in?