Father. Apply blunt trauma to the head.

[amezri]

What do I wake up to this morning? My mom and father in the kitchen discussing a divorce. Well, actually, hes discussing all the disadvantages to her if they were to divorce. Such things as, they would take the house from her, she doesn't know how to manage money, she would owe him money, she wouldn't blah blah blah. He asks her what she has to gain and she says she wouldn't have to listen to him degrade her and tell lies and all those other things.

He says, "It doesn't matter."

WTF do you mean it doesn't matter?! You can't just say that those things don't matter. Any time she tried to bring up a counterpoint, he would just sternly say her name and tell her that what she thinks doesn't matter. That the court would take her house and she would be broke.

Um, excuse me. Divorce court is not exactly in the business of making people broke. Also, things are divided up fairly, yes, but they're not going to sell the house in which your kids live just to give you half the value. He has other property, and a stock portfolio (which, admittedly is not worth much). He, of course, then throws at her the only thing he ever does - how we are broke and have no money and all the money he brings home is gone.

Listen here, you asshole. My mother pays for a shit load of stuff around here out of her paycheck. That massive mortgage - yeah, most of that was for paying off his back-taxes and debt. A sickeningly large amount, to which he has added several more thousands. From his paycheck, my mother gets about $1100 a month, if she feels like asking him for it and he feels like giving it to her (not with out a lot of arguement, of course). Where the rest of it goes - only he knows. He claims she spent it all. She can't spend it if she doesn't have access to it, you stupid fuck!

[edit: I forgot to mention how during the course of their discussion he kept saying things like, "the law says..." When does he ever follow the law?]

Finally he says, as if very generously, that he has a lawyer slut friend who will do the paperwork for a seperation for free. That's all well and good, but he didn't say where he'd be staying for the 1 year seperation (which is needed in NY for an automatic divorce). He sure as hell ain't staying here - that isn't much of a seperation, now is it?

Glargh.

So, yes. I need to dig out my Personal Law book and read over the divorce and seperation chapters. Does anyone know a good divorce attorney?

Comments

[buhfly.livejournal.com]

Hire an attorney. Don't let his "friend" do anything for "free."

First of all, any lawyer worth their degree would never do something like that for a friend. It's a huge conflict of interest and it brings up all sorts of massive problems if they screw something.

Is NY a...uhm...a state that splits the property equally? There's a word for it. I'm too tired to think of it. Arizona is. And California. If you divorce, you split everything. It cuts down on messy he-said-she-said, I-want-it-all divorces. They're generally pretty fair about it, though.

Am I helping or just babbling?

[amezri.livejournal.com]

First, I have doubts that his friend actually said this. I also have doubts that he actually really talked to anyone, since 90% of the words out of his mouth are lies anyway.

Second.. if he did, my father's friends are highly unscrupulous (sp?), so it's possible they would do it for free. Or at least, not for money.

Yup, New York is one of the ones that splits everything. We also have "compensation," I think that's what it's called; used to be alimony. The person with the highest income pays the difference until the person with the lowest income gets higher pay (I think there's also a time contraint).

Now I'm babbling.

[buhfly.livejournal.com]

Oh! Yeah. I was gonna ask about the alimony thing but got distracted by calls.

*nuffle* Ya'll just need to kick him out.

[sg1padawan.livejournal.com]

I know it's kind of stating the obvious but...

...your father is a complete ass. It doesn't get any less true with each passing day.

I'm quite happy to join you in beating him with a blunt object, if needs be. *nods*

[amezri.livejournal.com]

I just want something to be done about it. Seperation, divorce, a swift beating.. anything.

[sg1padawan.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Fingers definitely crossed this is all resolved soon...

[ozw.livejournal.com]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0764550586/qid=1059321339/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/002-9065362-0018441?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

[amezri.livejournal.com]

ha! Thanks :-P

[antheia.livejournal.com]

A close friend's mother is a defense attorney, she might know someone (in new york city). But by the sounds of it, if your mother has a good lawyer, she can strip your dad of everything. My suggestion would be to get in and print out as many of those emails you've been talking about as you can. They're great evidence. New York does not like men who lie to their wives, cheat on them, and then try to leave them with nothing.

[amezri.livejournal.com]

*nods* My mom has all of the ones she's read in a file in her office. He's changed the password to his private yahoo account so we don't know what it is anymore.

Any suggestions you could make would be really helpful ^_^ I don't know if it makes a difference, but we live in Schenectady County.

[antheia.livejournal.com]

I don't know much, but my mother was looking into the process a few years ago. My dad, though, wasn't as awful as yours seems to be. I will see if I can get ahold of my friend's mom.

[amezri.livejournal.com]

Awesome. thanks. My mom works for the state and I think PEF allows you one free legal consultation with one of their listed lawyers so she might do that too.

[xpashax.livejournal.com]

Have you considered installing a keylogger onto his laptop to get the yahoo password? If you have admin access, you could put one in without him knowing as long as he doesn't run virus scan.

[amezri.livejournal.com]

He's got the thing with him everywhere he goes and when it's home, he's not away from it for more than an hour if we're in the house.

[xpashax.livejournal.com]

Ah, I had gotten the impression that you were able to access it occationally when you mentioned you still had the administrator access. Perhaps I misread or misundertood something.

[amezri.livejournal.com]

No, I have admin access, you're right. I think he's realized that my mom is checking his mail, so he's keeping that thing close. I don't think he realizes that she checks it from work and from my computer upstairs XD

[xpashax.livejournal.com]

So much for the simple solution. Short of doing some James Bond stuff that is.