Random Ripper Rantings
Feb. 28th, 2002 11:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amezriGods I miss her. She was such a crack monkey. ^_^
From: "Shirley Dieckmann" <dieckmann@****>
Date: Sun, 11 Feb 2001 15:24:01 +1100
Subject: [bringers-afterdark] My head hurts...
*Johnny Ratbastard backs slowly away from the advancing residents of Ripper's head*
Johnny: 'ey, wotch it. Oh, come on, mate. Please.
From: "Shirley Dieckmann" <dieckmann@****>
Date: Sun, 11 Feb 2001 15:24:01 +1100
Subject: [bringers-afterdark] My head hurts...
*Johnny Ratbastard backs slowly away from the advancing residents of Ripper's head*
Johnny: 'ey, wotch it. Oh, come on, mate. Please.
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Gods I miss her. She was such a crack monkey. ^_^
<i>From: "Shirley Dieckmann" <Dieckmann@****>
Date: Sun, 11 Feb 2001 15:24:01 +1100
Subject: [bringers-afterdark] My head hurts...
*Johnny Ratbastard backs slowly away from the advancing residents of Ripper's head*
Johnny: 'ey, wotch it. Oh, come on, mate. Please.
<Alright, that's enough. Bridget'll be well pissed if we kill the little man from inside her head.>
All: Awwww...
Rupert: Bugger. Well, what ever are we to do with the little reprobate then?
<*sigh* I don't know. Bridget wants him back soon in one piece, that's all.>
Tony: But lookit what the sonofabi-atch did ta our records!
Chas: Yeah, he made Anton cry an' all.
Leslie: Chas, *you* make Anton cry before six every morning.
Chas: Yeah, well, s'diffrent, innit?
Anton: Yeah, Chas does it for love. Sort of.
Johnny: Oh, come on. You can't kill me, you bastards. Bridget'll be right pissy atcher. You won't lay a feckin finger on me.
Rupert: He's right, I suppose. We don't want Bridget angry. But there must be *some* way he can make up for it before we send him back to Bridget's head...
Tony: Uh, guys? I gotta ideya.
*all huddle, whisper, whisper, whisper, come to a descision*
<That's a brilliant idea Tony! And we can send him straight back to Bridget's place in a couple of days.>
Rupert: Or weeks.
Johnny: Wot? Wot's with that, then, eh? Wot're youse gonna do? Hey! Hey! HEY!!!
A few hours later...
*All lounge beside the pool on deck chairs and towels, sipping margaritas and pina coladas.*
Tony: Ahhh...don't get much better'n this. Right guys?
Rupert: Mmmm...that really was a rather ingeneous idea of yours, dear.
Tony: Thanks. Couldja sunscreen my back?
Rupert: Sure.
Chas: Another Shirley Temple, Les?
Leslie: Thank you, Chas. Oh, we're all out.
Anton: No matter. Ooooooh, CABANA BOY!!!
Johnny: *dressed in a little red and white stripey shirt, short short navy shorts, and straw boater hat* Yes, Sir?
Anton: Another Shirley Temple for Miss Leslie. Oh, and an absinthe for me.
Tony: Mexican beer, buddy.
Rupert: Scotch. Double. No, make that a triple.
Johnny: *Gets drinks. Sigh* Will there be anyfing else?
Anton: Will there be any*th*ing else, SIR! *whacks his arse*
Johnny: OWWW! You bloody bastard!
Chas: Uh-uh-uhhh. What do we say?
Johnny: Oh, God.
All: WHAT DO WE SAY???
Johnny: *grimace* "Thank you, master, may I have another?"
Rupert: That's better. Now go and tongue wash the car.
Johnny: Yes, Sir.
*all clink glasses*
Well, it seems like everything's worked out fine. No harm's come to Johnny, the occupants of Ripper's head are enjoying themselves no end, and Johnny looks so *cute* in those itty bitty shorts. So, he's on his way home, Bridget. Meanwhile, Tony has once again set out on his quest to find Amezri...
Ripper</i>
<i>From: "Shirley Dieckmann" <Dieckmann@****>
Date: Sun, 11 Feb 2001 15:24:01 +1100
Subject: [bringers-afterdark] My head hurts...
*Johnny Ratbastard backs slowly away from the advancing residents of Ripper's head*
Johnny: 'ey, wotch it. Oh, come on, mate. Please.
<Alright, that's enough. Bridget'll be well pissed if we kill the little man from inside her head.>
All: Awwww...
Rupert: Bugger. Well, what ever are we to do with the little reprobate then?
<*sigh* I don't know. Bridget wants him back soon in one piece, that's all.>
Tony: But lookit what the sonofabi-atch did ta our records!
Chas: Yeah, he made Anton cry an' all.
Leslie: Chas, *you* make Anton cry before six every morning.
Chas: Yeah, well, s'diffrent, innit?
Anton: Yeah, Chas does it for love. Sort of.
Johnny: Oh, come on. You can't kill me, you bastards. Bridget'll be right pissy atcher. You won't lay a feckin finger on me.
Rupert: He's right, I suppose. We don't want Bridget angry. But there must be *some* way he can make up for it before we send him back to Bridget's head...
Tony: Uh, guys? I gotta ideya.
*all huddle, whisper, whisper, whisper, come to a descision*
<That's a brilliant idea Tony! And we can send him straight back to Bridget's place in a couple of days.>
Rupert: Or weeks.
Johnny: Wot? Wot's with that, then, eh? Wot're youse gonna do? Hey! Hey! HEY!!!
A few hours later...
*All lounge beside the pool on deck chairs and towels, sipping margaritas and pina coladas.*
Tony: Ahhh...don't get much better'n this. Right guys?
Rupert: Mmmm...that really was a rather ingeneous idea of yours, dear.
Tony: Thanks. Couldja sunscreen my back?
Rupert: Sure.
Chas: Another Shirley Temple, Les?
Leslie: Thank you, Chas. Oh, we're all out.
Anton: No matter. Ooooooh, CABANA BOY!!!
Johnny: *dressed in a little red and white stripey shirt, short short navy shorts, and straw boater hat* Yes, Sir?
Anton: Another Shirley Temple for Miss Leslie. Oh, and an absinthe for me.
Tony: Mexican beer, buddy.
Rupert: Scotch. Double. No, make that a triple.
Johnny: *Gets drinks. Sigh* Will there be anyfing else?
Anton: Will there be any*th*ing else, SIR! *whacks his arse*
Johnny: OWWW! You bloody bastard!
Chas: Uh-uh-uhhh. What do we say?
Johnny: Oh, God.
All: WHAT DO WE SAY???
Johnny: *grimace* "Thank you, master, may I have another?"
Rupert: That's better. Now go and tongue wash the car.
Johnny: Yes, Sir.
*all clink glasses*
Well, it seems like everything's worked out fine. No harm's come to Johnny, the occupants of Ripper's head are enjoying themselves no end, and Johnny looks so *cute* in those itty bitty shorts. So, he's on his way home, Bridget. Meanwhile, Tony has once again set out on his quest to find Amezri...
Ripper</i>
