morning linkage

[amezri]

Firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY pgnblade! Hope it's a good one :)

Dear weather, please stop raining! omg.

Adult Swim is streaming episodes each Friday night starting at 11pm. They'll be streaming both current and classic shows as well as new news before their premiere. Swank.

I've been meaning to link to it, but then I lost the link, anyway, here is Orson Scott Card's fanboy review of Serenity. voleuse pointed out a transcript in someone's lj.

Sienna Miller has turned into Jude Law's stalker. Bwah? A source is quoted in Britain's The Sun newspaper as saying: "Sienna threw herself at Jude. She walked into the restaurant where he was having lunch with a pretty brunette, who wasn't Salma, and she got down on her knees and wept. She was sobbing uncontrollably and telling him, 'Don't go, don't go'. At one stage she had her head in his lap."

Future In-Laws hate Tom Cruise. Katie Holmes's dad is said to be "very upset" because his unmarried daughter is pregnant with Cruise's child. And, what's more, the devoutly Catholic Martin Holmes reportedly is none-too-thrilled about his daughter's involvement in her husband-to-be's controversial religion, Scientology."

And Britney Spears hired her husband's ex to be their nanny. Wow. As the site says, If you ever see these people in person, don't touch them. Whatever makes them this stupid could be contagious.

This poor guy is trying to sell leather pants he bought to impress some woman. And in case the auction goes away,

You are bidding on a mistake.

We all make mistakes. We date the wrong people for too long. We chew gum with our mouths open. We say inappropriate things in front of grandma.

And we buy leather pants.

I can explain these pants and why they are in my possession. I bought them many, many years ago under the spell of a woman whom I believed to have taste. She suggested I try them on. I did. She said they looked good. I wanted to have a relationship of sorts with her. I’m stupid and prone to impulsive decisions. I bought the pants.

The relationship, probably for better, never materialized. The girl, whose name I can’t even recall, is a distant memory. I think she was short.

Ultimately the pants were placed in the closet where they have remained, unworn, for nearly a decade. I would like to emphasize that: Aside from trying these pants on, they have never, ever been worn. In public or private.

I have not worn these leather pants for the following reasons:

I am not a member of Queen.
I do not like motorcycles.
I am not Rod Stewart.
I am not French.
I do not cruise for transvestites in an expensive sports car.

These were not cheap leather pants. They are Donna Karan leather pants. They’re for men. Brave men, I would think. Perhaps tattooed, pierced men. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say you either have to be very tough, very gay, or very famous to wear these pants and get away with it.

Again, they’re men’s pants, but they’d probably look great on the right lady. Ladies can get away with leather pants much more often than men can. It’s a sad fact that men who own leather pants will have to come to terms with.

They are size 34x34. I am no longer size 34x34, so even were I to suddenly decide I was a famous gay biker I would not be able to wear these pants. These pants are destined for someone else. For reasons unknown - perhaps to keep my options open, in case I wanted to become a pirate - I have shuffled these unworn pants from house to house, closet to closet. Alas, it is now time to part ways so that I may use the extra room for any rhinestone-studded jeans I may purchase in the future.

These pants are in excellent condition. They were never taken on pirate expeditions. They weren’t worn onstage. They didn’t straddle a Harley, or a guy named Harley. They just hung there, sad and ignored, for a few presidencies.

Someone, somewhere, will look great in these pants. I’m hoping that someone is you, or that you can be suckered into buying them by a girl you’re trying to bed.

Please buy these leather pants.

Lost fans: You've been to http://www.thehansofoundation.org/ -- now go to https://www.thehansofoundation.org/. Approve the security notices. Freaky.

Right then. Off to work. Joy.

Comments

[eretria.livejournal.com]

Please buy these leather pants.

Only in America. Seriously.
Bwee!

[amezri.livejournal.com]

I know! He did pretty well on his mistake. Got $100 back XD

[gilkurtis.livejournal.com]

Q: Are these pants worthy of cruising for transvestites while in my Maserati? I just got one and need an outfit that would go with my new car.

A: I think leather pants would accent that mid-life crisis quite nicely.

[amezri.livejournal.com]

Heeee! :D

[pgnblade.livejournal.com]

: ) Thankyew!!!

*hug*

-Me