where I babble like a stupid girl

[amezri]

I shifted filters around. Anyway. That's not related to this post. Unfiltered.

You all know I don't have a boyfriend. That I, in fact, have never had one. Most days I'm okay with it. Lately, I'm not. Erm. Not that I'm ready to go jump on any boy I see, just that I'd like to have a boyfriend. Been thinking about that a lot. Yes. Watching stupid romantic movies with cute foreign boys is not helpful.

It's crossed my mind to ask friends to set me up... but that never turns out right, does it? Besides that fact, I think maybe I'm not really capable or emotionally ready to handle a boyfriend. I get bored with people quickly and frustrated with males even faster. I have this really sad ability to pick up every tiny little flaw in a person and have it bug the crap outof me if I am around them too long.

Remember Music!Boy from B&N? Yeah. I admit that I screwed that one up. I take the blame on that, I do. He was probably interested and he was a decent guy. I think. Math major, even. Tall, thin, smart, cute, good sense of humor - my type if I were to say I had a realistic one. My excuse for cuting him off: he always talked about gambling. Which he sort of didn't. Well, okay, 60% of everything he said was related to gambling, which I think is excessive, but come on! That's a dumb reason, I'm sure. He probably didn't know what to talk about because I was kind of avoidy, especially in semi-private one-on-one situations like the couple times we went out, because that's how I am. It's not that I don't like you - it's that I do and I don't know how to act. I was the kid in the playground who beat up the people I liked. It's a bit wrong.

So what do I want now? I work in a place where all the employees are female (married and currently dating, not that I'm looking there) and there are no actual customers who enter the place. I'd actually be scared if a cute boy came into the bead store. I work full time and am basically a recluse. Most of you haven't seen me online in weeks. Wouldn't have time for a boyfriend anyway.

And yet. Maybe it's all those hormones and social whatevers finally kicking in. I'll be 23 come September and maybe it's time for me to do the relationship thing. I dunno. I'm not going into the "la la la FEELINGS!" schpeel. It's more the "I wish I had a cute boy who was obligated to hang out with me" kind of thing. Hell, even a cute gay boy would do right now. I'm not that picky.

I'm babbling. So I should go. I'm just tired, lonely, and sad. Don't mind me. I'm just going to wallow over there. At this point if people want to set me up, I'd not be opposed. I haven't interacted with a person of the male gender in 3 weeks. (sorry, ozw, I'm not counting online chats) Can one get estrogen poisoning? I think I had a list written up ages ago of what sort of guy I liked. Not that it really matters because such a guy doesn't exist. Or is taken. Or is very gay. But for shits & giggles... a Letterman list of sorts:

- taller than I am (at 5'2", it's not hard to beat)
- blue or green eyes (so, obviously, I like caucasians... Asian boys generally scare me)
- smart, but not in an arrogant asshole sort of way
- good sense of humor
- clean, but not a cleanliness nazi
- is a bit trendy
- is not a penny-pinching bastard, but dosn't spend money like water
- generally independant (I will not be your mom!!)
- foreign accents are a BIG plus (mmm.. Brits...)
- brownie points for eyeliner
- you're a keeper if you can deal with my mood swings and read between the lines. Which, I think, eliminates most of the male population.

I'm missing things. But anyway. See? Doesn't exist. I like pretty boys anyway, and they're all gay or taken, so why try. Feh. See. Now I'm just making myself angry and depressed. I'll shut up now.

Comments

[ozw.livejournal.com]

If I didn't have brown eyes I'd so be your man. That is if Brooklyn counts as a foreign accent. :oP

I like, just started really dating this year...and already I'm pretty much over my awkwardness...Before this year I was a horrible mess. I don't think it could hurt to go on a blind date, even if its a horrible one, just as some sort of experience, cuz it's weird to just jump into a relationship never having been in one.

The pretty gay ones are all taken too.

And I've told you this before, any boy that isn't all over you is just intimidated by the awesomeness that is Amezri.

[amezri.livejournal.com]

Brooklyn accents are not foreign. They're alien :-P j/k

The only (non-friend) boys that have ever.. eh.. noticed me as an attractive female and said so to my face were either weird, creepy, or really, really drunk. That doesn't really make me feel better. :-p

[queenmaab.livejournal.com]

d'oh! see-my stupid company needs to call you-there are TONS of brits here!! not sure how many are single, but i know there are a ton of them!!

{{huggles}}{{huggles}}{{huggles}}{{huggles}}{{huggles}}{{huggles}}{{huggles}}{{huggles}}{{huggles}}{{huggles}}{{huggles}}{{huggles}}

[amezri.livejournal.com]

UHM... HOOK ME UP!! ^____^

[queenmaab.livejournal.com]

i'll have to do a little re-con. ;)

[amezri.livejournal.com]

Do you have any idea how much I would owe you if you hooked me up with a pretty Brit XD That's like... first born owe-age.