Away Messages

[amezri]

I've got way too many of the buggers and now that I'm back home probably won't be using most of them anymore. So.. time to clear them out. Except.. a lot of them were witty and I want to save them. Which is why I'm posting them here. Feel free to snag. Most of them are just quotes anyway.


Bushism:
Q. How is Dubya so certain the Iraqis have weapons of mass destruction?
A. His dad kept the receipts.

"To announce that there be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but morally treasonable to the American people."
-- Theodore Roosevelt

Class:
Helpdesk duty, then Digital Photo & Graphic Design. Be back 'round 6pm.

John: You sweating? This isn't a Sebacean heat thing, is it?
Aeryn: This is not a Sebacean thing.
John: You gotta give me a clue here, Aeryn. Is this something new or is it your usual PMS? Peacekeeper Military Sh--
Aeryn: Frell you.
-- "DNA Mad Scientist"


Ed Norton:
As an actor I know in my mind, watching him, what a low-quality mind he has. ... know when a person is saying words that aren't their own -- and it's apparent as it could possibly be to me that he's a mouthpiece, and not even a good mouthpiece.
-- Ed Norton on GW Bush (New York Post).


Food (thank gods this one's over with):
Off to get some..er... "food" from the dining hall. "Soylent green is...PEOPLE!"

John: It's a happy face
Aeryn: They're food cubes.
John: No, see the pattern forms a... nevermind.
-- "DNA Mad Scientist" (Farscape)


Sinfest:
There once was a chick from Dixie
Who thought that she was a hippie
She ran off her mouth
And pissed off the South
Then she said, "Oops. Pardon my freedom."
-Tatsuya Ishida, Sinfest


Lyrics:
From a tiny pin-prick
Came little spurts of blood
A little trickle long enough
Can surely cause the flood

But last night he sped the process
He sliced it open
Then walked away
And cut his losses

Love all one needs
What I need is to try healing
And I'll make sure I'll never
Fall back into that feeling

-- Majandra Delfino, "Oil + Water"


Lyrics:
Have you seen yourself today?
Could you recognize your face?
Tell me tell me what to say
Mine's lost without a trace

Momma can you help me please?
My hero just stabbed me
With a knife that I did lend
Oh momma who's my friend

I had almost found my face
I was almost me
But my pride couldn't swallow what it ate
Boy I hope you're happy

-- Amy Jo Johnson, "Puddle of Grace"


Lyrics:
I tried to kill the pain,
But only brought more.
I lay dying,
And I'm pouring, crimson regret, and betrayal

I'm dying // Praying // Bleeding // Screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries, for deliverance
Will I be denied?
Christ! Tourniquet! My suicide.

-- Evanescence, "Tourniquet"


Lyrics:
Here I am alone again
Waiting for the story to finally end.
While the world
Spins around
It's out of my hands.
Don't even try to understand.

And I guess it's time to tell you
What you should already know.
Oh you know
I'm better breathing on my own.
All alone.

-- Majandra, "Breathing On My Own"


Stupid People:
Why are people tools? No, seriously, why are they?


Working:
Please try the following solutions before you call the Help Desk:
1. "Save" is under the "File" menu
2. No, I will not make your final web project for you.
3. I'm sorry, the Internet is running in broken mode.
4. User operation error. Put the computer back in the box and send it back.
5. Next time, you might try showing up to class. You know, when the Professor is explaining things.
6. Oh. You're screwed.


The LAN indicator on my machine is red, but the connection is still kicking. Stupid computer.

You know... I still haven't unpacked my stuff. I've been home for two weeks. Eye=lazy.

Comments

[ozw.livejournal.com]

Your away messages are witty. It's so hard to come up with good away messages, heh. I got lazy so now I usually use random lyrics. But those are only fun for me, cuz nobody else cares enough to read them, unless they know the song, heh.

-Oz

[bibliophile0614.livejournal.com]

Hehe me too :)

Re:

[amezri.livejournal.com]

Thanks, man. I have them mostly to amuse myself anyway.

Oh, that Tom Lenk one... my non-Buffy friend thought I meant he was my new boyfriend. LOL

[fyrdrakken]

Love the series of working messages you have there at the end! Me, I hardly ever use away messages -- if I'm not on the computer available to chat, then I'm off AIM...

Re:

[amezri.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Wrote that last year after being frustrated with stupid students.